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Artificial Heart

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Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee. 

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(Source: transascendant, via mathematicalsherlockian)

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fauxcyborg:

water and food insecurity are not caused by overpopulation but the corporate stranglehold on science, agriculture and natural resources. overpopulation is also almost always used to solely talk about the responsibility of people who aren’t “like us” to stop having children. 

(via iamhiddlebatched)

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If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now. 
—― Jarod Kintz (via psych-quotes)
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sgtsatine:

randomweas:

Did Someone Say Cake?

I stared at these gifs for waaaaayyyyy longer than I should have.

(Source: randomweas.com, via mathematicalsherlockian)

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pardonmewhileipanic:

christel-thoughts:

Perfect

that’s because people value money more than women
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pardonmewhileipanic:

christel-thoughts:

Perfect

that’s because people value money more than women

(Source: thefangirlfeminist, via pop-it-lock-it-spock-it)

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just-gypsy-caroline:

dangergays:

My boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old, 5 foot tall, Indian grandmother told me that “there are lots of men…”

I thought she was then going to say “…in the sea” but she said “…they’re like flies” and made a disgusted face.

She hates flies.

I like the sound of your grandmother.

(via tooinfinityandbeyonce)

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i-am-an-adult-i-swear:

ashkenazi-autie:

ilovepeoplethattalktocameras:

Have we ever discussed the fact that 2001 - 2012 Disney channel’s shows all had strong female leads, with the exception of Zack and Cody but they had a black man in charge, a smart poor white blonde girl and a dumb rich Asian so still beautifully diverse.

Disney was 100% female empowerment and showed diversity. Who did they employ to create the shit they have today?

Of the shows with girls as leads, two of them were POC and their heritage was actively acknowledged throughout the show.
We have a Wizards of Waverly Place episode featuring a quincenera and we have That’s So Raven, which actually did a lot to talk about body image and addressed the issue of antiblack racism.

These shows were gold.

(via mathematicalsherlockian)

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colbaltdrg:

mewiet:

retrogradeworks:

I love to see children who are so delicate and gentle with animals.  It warms my heart amidst a sea of brats pulling cats’ tails and getting whacked.

Also JESUS THAT’S A SNUGGLY CHICKEN.

I love how she reaches up on her tippy toes to snuggle into his shoulder.

To be more exact, that’s a hen. Which is the female. This is likely not his first encounter with her. My grandpa had chickens and hens, and if you visit them frequently like this they develop affection to you. I would know, because I sat in the chicken coop alot. The hens get a small maternal kick, and come to cuddle you because she wants to keep you warm, like she would do with her chicks. This means the boy has spent alot of time with her, and that just makes it more heart warming.

(Source: hannahbowl, via openyourhands)

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daftwithoneshoe:

sirlightbulb:

communistweed:

sirlightbulb:

i don’t even understand how boy bands from the late 90’s dance so well

yeah they’re always so nsync

YOU FUCKING DIDNT

Alright, calm down, if you’re going to fight, take it to the back street, boys.

(via tropicthuncler)

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(Source: liverde, via openyourhands)

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That awkward moment when you lose track of how long you’ve been on tumblr.

image

(via openyourhands)

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amenpenis:

Cute fun nicknames for your significant other

  • pop
  • six
  • squish
  • uh uh!
  • cicero
  • lipschitz

(via openyourhands)

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craftykinkster:

dickpetter420:

videohall:

What to do when you see your friend texting while driving

> Broyoualmostmademedropmyphone

his vocal range wild

OMFG

(via openyourhands)

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